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Dear Editor,

The Suicide Prevention Coalition of Iowa County is hosting a suicide memorial walk on Friday, September 23, in Dodgeville at the Ley Pavilion in Harris Park from 6:00 p.m.-9:00 p.m. We are in hopes that the community will come together and support family and friends that have lost a loved one to suicide and those that struggle personally with suicidal thoughts. This article will touch on the reasons people may feel hesitant to register, due to being a busy time of year or that memories of a lost loved one are too hard to handle and the feelings of embarrassment of possibly needing to control their emotions in public, prevents people from registering.

These are the exact reasons why you SHOULD register for the Suicide Memorial Walk. True, this time of year is busy, but if you register and get a T-shirt you wouldn’t have to attend the walk (we hope you would for a short time) but every time you wear the T-shirt with the words “Suicide Prevention” on it you are leading by example and demonstrating your desire to break down stigmas and help others in our community. The back of the T-shirt has the Suicide Hotline number and tips of what to do if you know someone that is talking about suicide. Just by wearing the shirt in public you are educating people and possibly saving a life with the hotline number and tips.

One evening in June, I was at Piggly Wiggly in Dodgeville selling golf balls for a fundraiser and I was wearing my Suicide Memorial Walk T-Shirt from 2015. A woman walked by me on her way in; I smiled and said hi. On her way out of the store she stood back a little and was reading the banner on my table. Then, with slight hesitance, she come up to me and asked me what I was doing. I explained the fundraiser, thinking I was going to make a sale. Yet, her response was not what I was expecting. She responded, “Your shirt. Your shirt is so true.” The quote from 2015 T-shirt: “People that die by suicide, don’t want to end their life, they want to end the pain.” The woman started to tell me her story and continued to explain she had plans to end her life that evening. I had no idea by just wearing the shirt that night what type of impact I could have on another person. Something as simple as wearing a shirt can help spread awareness, breaking down stigmas and support families that have had a loss and others that may be contemplating suicide. So, although it is a busy time of year, I know it’s not too busy to wear a shirt with a purposeful message.

Secondly, memories of a lost loved one are too hard to handle and the feelings of embarrassment of possibly needing to control your emotions in public is a very genuine concern. With that in mind, two different courses or paths are set up for the walk. One path is outlined by luminaries, but is outside in the park which allows for privacy under the moon light sky and a place to discretely manage your emotions with as much time as you may need. The alternative course is inside the Ley Pavilion, with luminaries and surrounded by different displays with information and resources for people to collect. These booths were designed to help turn the feelings of powerlessness into hopefulness. You will have the option to get a henna tattoo, put a pie in your face with the Mrs. Doubtfire Challenge, understand more about mental health issues, learn how to take care of yourself, make a public statement, and release a night luminary floating lantern and collect ideas for a random act of kindness. Last year people alternated between the two paths, ate at the concession stand and stayed for as long as they could. That is all we are hoping for, to do as much as you can.

Death due to suicide is different than any other death. With suicide the family and friends are left with the question of why or what more could I have done? Survivors, at times, have feelings of shame or embarrassment due to stigmas surrounding personal situation of the loved one. Feelings of disgrace, rooted in the community, spiritual organization, or other family or friends based on their beliefs. It is as if everything good or positive your loved one had done in their life has just been discredited and they are only remembered for the act of taking their own life. With a motor vehicle accident, the cause of death is blamed on the vehicle, weather, road conditions, or inattentive driving; in the case of a terminal illness the illness itself is blamed for the death. With suicide, the ones left behind feel the blame for not catching the signs or doing more. One of the many purposes for this walk is to demonstrate there are others going through the same thing and you are not alone in your struggles.

We as a community are recognizing the problem and willing to shine a light on it in an effort to make it better. Make the move to get involved in an effort to heal through spreading awareness while being surrounded by others that understand. The community has become brave enough to start a conversation that matters about suicide and every struggle has opportunity to make a change. Take this opportunity to make a positive change to support someone that is struggling or to continue to heal yourself through your struggles. Reach out and register at http://www.Suicide-IowaCountyWI.org.

Susan Springer Judd